06 January 2010

These are not New Years Resolutions

When I was ten years old, I went to the doctor for a cough. I still remember my doctor's face: half shrouded by a salt & pepper beard, thick round glasses, and a typically bulbous Jew nose that foreshadowed his quick and nasally speech. He asked me to look at the ceiling, then recoiled in shock at the size of the lump on my neck. He tested my blood on a hunch, and correctly diagnosed me with Hypothyroidism, a fairly common gland disorder that most don't know they have until much, much later in life.

Since then, I have made several large additions to my medical chart. I am afflicted daily with the symptoms of many illnesses, all due to genetic mutations. As a result, I'm frequently sickly, weak, tired, and sore. I'm in different kinds of pain every day, I gain weight for no reason, and during the semester, I punish my already pathetic bodily functions with stress, caffeine, and sleep deprivation.

& I'm tired of that. I'm tired of just putting up with all of the little things that compound and make my days long and arduous. I will always have more to overcome to achieve the same goals as those around me, but I have no reason to make it any harder than it already is. I have read the books, and the websites, and I am not exaggerating whatsoever when I say I have seen at least fifty different doctors in the past five years. I know my options, and I think it's time I really try to make a change, and stick to it.

Consistency is one of my biggest pitfalls, and it always has been. I am responsible, organized, motivated and hardworking. I don't miss deadlines, I don't cancel appointments, I don't skip class. But as much as I resist routine, my body is craving it, and I think it's time I reappropriate some of my time and money to taking care of it.

These are not New Years Resolutions.
These are promises I'm making to myself that I will try on a daily basis to keep.

1. I will cut down on cigarettes. I would like to reach a point where I only smoke when I drink. I'm tempted to say I will quit entirely, but I'd like to start small.

2. I will stop using deodorant with aluminum and toothpaste with flouride. It's overwhelming how many things I assume are innocuous simply because I was raised by people who assumed the same. My family are smart people but not necessarily the most vigilant healthwise. Flouride-free toothpase doesn't obliterate my stomach, and aluminum is linked with Fibromyalgia, one of my least favorite medical issues.

3. I will take time out to ride my bike, even if I don't want to. Although I'm very active, I don't actually engage in any significant cardiovascular activity, aside from taking the stairs instead of the elevator and walking extensively. And I have a sweet ass bike now.

4. I will limit my alcohol intake. I am terrible with money, and I think one good step toward better money management is spending less on things that are not necessary. My body is too fragile to be a heavy drinker. One night a week is really all I should participate in.

5. I will take all of my pills everyday. I am so bad at this. After ten years with a daily pill regimen, you would think that I would have it down. But I don't. I will find my weekly pill caddy, dust it off, and fill it up every Sunday night. And I will actually take vitamins too.

6. I will up my protein intake, and curb my carbs. This is one of those basic dietary rules that really helps with my muscle pain, fatigue, and weight stabilization.

7. I will lose weight. I'm not uncomfortable with my body, but I've got this delusion that I am incapable of losing weight, and I have a feeling that it's not really as impossible as I think.

These are not New Years Resolutions, because those are made to be broken by Valentines. These are promises I'm making to myself that I will try on a daily basis to keep.

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